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Eden Blakeney
18 April 2008 @ 02:53 pm
This has been one of the most topsy-turvy weeks of my life. And that's saying something in my life. This week was ruined, by, of all things, Jason. Jason.

Jason really knows where to aim his low blows, and basically calling me a no good cock-sucker who'll never last with James was...painful. And it stuck with me, more than I'd realised.

But James showed him...

And, of course, I was right, we were in the Prophet. God, I wanted to punch something, or possibly bash my own head against something. The Howler's were terrible, immense and...flammable, thank fuck. I don't even want to think about what some people's opinions are. They can stuff it. And themselves too.

Of course, I wasn't feeling particularly sure of myself, when I came across Jamie and her little hanger-on pawing my boyfriend. Well, I made it very clear exactly how I felt about that...

James enjoyed my little jealous streak, though, I must say...

I enjoyed it even more when Jamie was headed to Potions the next morning as I stood outside the common room entrance and kissed a rather sated, goofily grinning, besotted James out the door. I feel the tongue she plainly saw was thoroughly necessary, as was the squeezing of his deliciously firm arse.

The look on her face was priceless, but I am glad that looks can't kill. 

 
 
Current Location: common room
Current Mood: pleasedpleased
 
 
Eden Blakeney
04 March 2008 @ 02:39 pm
So, we went to Hogsmeade, and who should turn up, but Jason.

What a nightmare.

I can't believe I fell for his bullshit, his motorbike, his tattoo's...bad-boy behaviour...what was I thinking?



I was intrigued at first, I think. And then flattered. He chased me, never giving up, always with sweet words and naughty offers. I was 15 and a fool.

Not that I learnt that quickly enough. 18 months is a long time to be with someone who treats you like shit. But it gets hard to leave when they tell you they're sorry-and besides? Who'd want you as much as I do? It wasn't all bad, to be fair. I learnt a lot, wised up, sorted myself out and felt pretty free to do as I pleased. And when he was good; in a good mood, all over me...It was better than good. But in the end, it was the experience that helped, I think. I'm smarter, I've had my heart broken and I lived, and I moved on...and I won't make the same mistake again. James is so different. Perfect. Everything Jason isn't. And that's what I need, more than motorbikes and parties.

I'm going to burn these pictures. No need to hold on to them anymore. And doesn't that feel good.

And now James and I will be in the paper. For starting a punch-up in one of the most famous pubs in Britain.

Oh God...I dread what the Prophet will say.

A part of me though, can't help but feel sort of...pleased. Jason got what he deserved, and James stuck-up for me the entire time. Never once wavering, thinking Jason might have been right. Although it's not how I would have wanted it, at least now everyone will know. About us, and that we're serious about each other.

I'm prepared for the slack off the other Slytherins...

What the rest of the Wizarding world will have to say, I can't say I'm quite so prepared for that.
 
 
Current Location: Slytherin bedroom
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Stairway to Heaven - Led Zepplin
 
 
Eden Blakeney
02 January 2008 @ 02:43 pm
James Potter.

Admittedly, he's been on my mind a lot this year. As the new year has just begun, I have to say, it's definitely starting out better than the last year did. Although I'm now a werewolf, karma balanced my year out by giving me James. It sounds so cliche, but I'm James Potter's girlfriend. Me!? It's so absurd and yet...not, at the same time. He needs a bit of fun in his life and he doesn't seem bothered by my condition, or my rather eccentric way of life, and that can only be a good thing. Maybe he'll help me settle down a little.

Whatever, really. James Potter is mine, and that's that.

Although, his father may hate me. God...

I wanted to make a good impression, and instead he probably thinks I'm some sort of devil or succubus or something...

My talk with Lily went well, and so that's good news. I just need to win over the rest of the family. Teddy will be the hardest, of that I'm sure.

The moon is in a week and a bit, and I just hope James can cope then. He'll really see me at my worst.
 
 
Current Location: Godric's Hollow
Current Mood: satisfiedsatisfied
Current Music: Amy Winehouse - Back to Black
 
 
Eden Blakeney
02 November 2007 @ 07:05 pm
 So, Malfoy Manor is big.

Fuck, it was amazing!

Truth or Dare was about the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. 

Teddy though, god he makes me so angry! How dare he try and out me like that?! I have a lot more to worry about than kissing other girls and faking orgasms. 

Lily was tremendous though. Good girl. I just wish I could let her know how proud of her I was to see taking the dares on with a real fierceness to her. 

And James looked amazing.... 


....I have to stop this....
 
 
Current Location: Slytherin Dorms
Current Mood: frustratedfrustrated
Current Music: My Leftovers - PatT
 
 
Eden Blakeney
God, I am so fucking stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I made love to James Potter. It was amazing and fantastic and brilliant and momentous. But so fucking stupid. I want him, I've never denied that, and I still won't, not even to myself.

I just...had to. I forgot for a moment, just those few short midnight hours, what I am. What I've become. I know how much I could have hurt him that close to the full moon, but I didn't. I wouldn't. But I know Teddy's right - I could have.

Stupid.

And now I have to clean up this mess I've made.

Teddy's royally pissed at me; and I can't blame him. I just thought he'd understand. Unless he's celibate. Or he whispers into the ears of the people he fucks how much he want's to see their skin rend under his hands, and spill beautiful red over his skin...well, I doubt it. 

Obviously, I'm a little pissed at him, too.

I hid away for as long as I could. But it still shocked me when James found me. I suppose part of me hoped he'd think it was a mistake and avoid me, making it easier for him. Not for me; because then I wouldn't have been important to him. And the part of me that isn't screaming and wailing in agony, is full of the knowledge that he did care; that I did matter. That he wanted me back.

I wanted to scream at him as we argued. The pain in his eyes was awful, and the things that came out of my mouth are shameful. But I am different. And his past worked against him too well. Who is Harry Potter to me? A fairytale told to me when I first arrived here. James is James; I could care less about who his father is. I'm just sorry he'll never know that I saw him only for himself, and it's him I've fallen for.
 
 
Current Mood: distresseddistressed
 
 
 
Eden Blakeney
13 September 2007 @ 11:06 am
 Well, I'm back at Hogwart's. The Headmaster convinced me everything will be okay. I'm not so sure. I still feel a lingering tiredness, and the next moon is the 26th. I don't know how I'm going to cope with all the classes and things. The extra work would be no problem, if I could focus on anything but sleep for the week after the moon and sex and the hunt the week before. 

Teddy's here, I haven't seen him yet, but I'll Owl him, see what's going on, hopefully get him to come check on me the new moon morning. 

God, this is so fucking hard...
 
 
Current Location: Slytherin Dorm's
Current Mood: draineddrained
Current Music: My Leftovers - PatT
 
 
Eden Blakeney
23 August 2007 @ 10:18 am
I don't know what came over me.

Ted Lupin was there, standing in front of me, and I growled. At him. I wanted to assert my dominance over him. I wanted him to submit to me. And I'd have done anything to make sure he did.

When he looked away I was filled with such pride; I'd won.

God, I hope I can rein this in. Lupin will be at Hogwarts and I've owled him - he's gonna help me tame the instincts. It's the full moon in a few days - my first one. 

I'm terrified.

The Headmaster was kind enough to get me a dose of Wolfsbane from the new Potions Professor, so hopefully I will just curl up and go to sleep. 

I Owled Lily Potter as well, to apologise for everything that happened at Diagon Alley. I told her my secret. She'd pretty much figured it out - bloody Ravenclaws - and she was ok with me. Then again, she was pretty accepting of me to begin with, so I can't fault her for that.

I'm so tired already, I hope it doesn't get any worse.

 
 
Current Location: Harvey's Paint Studio
Current Mood: scaredscared
Current Music: Porcelain and the Tramps - You Want
 
 
Eden Blakeney
15 August 2007 @ 05:05 pm
Everything has changed. Everything I had planned for my future. Everything I wanted to do. All of it is as useful as a dream. 

I had dinner with my parents last night. It went about as well as it ever does, I suppose. They criticised my...well, everything, and I smoked like a chimney due to the stress.

They came to London this time, rather than me making the trip across to Kent,, but truth be told, I wish I had gone to Kent. 

I decided to take a shortcut back to Harvey's flat, I was too het up to get a cab and I thought a walk would do me a bit of good. There's a lovely park just round the corner from Harvey's, so I thought I'd just take a little trip through the trees. God, I'm such an idiot. I didn't even take my wand, because of how funny my parents are about my being a witch. 

I never even realised it was the full moon.

There was nothing I could do. I never even heard it coming. I'm so stupid

My life is over. It would have been better had I died. Now I have this disease, this curse, seeping it's way into every pore of my body. And it won't stop until I'm no longer human, a monster to be locked away every month.

What am I going to do?

Harvey's coming to get me from the Muggle Hospital I'm in. I need a Healer more than a Doctor, they wouldn't even believe me if I told them.

The bite is high, up on my thigh, so it won't be seen. But I can't go back to Hogwarts. I'll have to send the Headmaster an owl resigning. What good is my education now? I know how the Wizarding world treats Werewolves. I'm only lucky I have a presence in the Muggle world - easier to get a job, or something - although I have no idea what I could come up with to excuse my not being able to turn up a week of every month. 

God only knows how I'm going to explain it to Harvey, to my parents...

What am I supposed to do now?
Tags:
 
 
Current Mood: melancholymelancholy
Current Music: The Bleeping of My Heart on the Monitor
 
 
Eden Blakeney
10 August 2007 @ 12:05 pm
It’s nearly time to return to Hogwarts. The owl arrived the day before yesterday A seventh year; I can hardly believe it – my last year. Then it’s out into the big wide world.
 
I’m at Uncle Harvey’s until September 1st when he’ll take me over to King’s cross. I always enjoy my summers with him, but I can’t say I’m not looking forward to being back in the Slytherin Dungeons. Magic is a part of me as much as my own soul, and not having it for two months solid is always a bit of a wrench – even though I’m seventeen, and over the restriction, I’m still living with Muggles and so I can’t even do a simple summoning spell. Harvey loves to hear tales of Hogwarts and to look at my books. I don’t think I could take it as well as he does, that I have magic and he doesn’t, if it were the other way around. But maybe that’s because I’ve always had it and I would feel incomplete without it, I don’t know.
 
I know most of the students will be getting bored now, waiting to get back in to Hogwarts’ hallowed halls, but with Harvey around, bored is the last thing I am. In truth, I wish I could have some time to get bored. Harvey must save all of his energy up for my coming back and we don’t stop for the whole break. He’s always heard of some new gallery, or artist, or scene of unimaginable inspiration, or impressionist poetry club and drags me along until his curiosity is sated. I don’t mind really, I enjoy these trips, seeing people, creative people, at work, inspired and expressive. It’s certainly different to the strictures of boarding school. It’s a time for me to relax and let the walls down a little – I have nothing to fear from Harvey, he’s totally accepting and loyal to a fault. He probably would have been a Gryffindor.
 
I shall have to go for the dreaded, once a summer dinner with my parents, soon. Lovely. An entire night of criticism – my magic, my hair, my everything. And my favourite – how I’m wasting my life with a Hogwarts education as it won’t help me in the ‘real world.’ I’ve given up trying to tell them that Hogwarts is my ‘real world.’ Oh never mind that, I’ll deal with it when it comes.
 
I’ll have to tell Harvey I need to go to Diagon Alley (which he’ll love – he gets more excited about it than I do) to pick up this years supplies. I need new robes, and definitely a new cauldron if we’re doing our NEWT exam projects. Ah well, I’ll make a list and go and find him, someone has to be around to make sure he doesn’t kill himself with excitement…
 
 
Current Location: Harvey's London Apartment
Current Mood: artisticartistic
Current Music: Tori Amos